Author: J.R.Owens

It’s May 28, and I’m here for an update for a month of wearing my hair curly.

Long story short, this month was a total and utter failure in the challenge department, yet a huge learning experience, and one I’m actually pretty happy with. I lasted roughly 4 days of wearing my hair curly before my husband looked at me and said “you are sad and angry, please go straighten your hair”.

In the past 2 years I’ve gained a little bit of weight, which makes me feel self-conscious. Add in that my hair is still pixie length, and all in all I felt like the blond kid from Bad Santa. If you don’t know what he looks like, I’ll give you a moment to Google it. That’s where I am with that. I spent 4 days avoiding looking at myself in a mirror, crying, and feeling like a stranger in my own body.

I wanted to rock the curly hair for a month, I really did. But I realized it was more important to feel good about myself, and at this point, I just didn’t. Completing a monthly challenge isn’t about doing something every day even if I’m hating it, and it’s upsetting. It’s about improving myself, and growing as a person, and this month it seemed to do the opposite.

I’m still pretty committed to living the curly girl life, but I think my hair just needs a little more length for me to not feel so self-conscious about it.

And while I’m chalking up the month as a “failure” of what I set out to do, I’m viewing it as a win of being aware of why it was a failure, and letting myself feel comfortable with something instead of forcing something that right now just isn’t me.

May has been my least pleasant month to date, and the one I was looking forward to the least, but figured I really needed. May’s challenge is to not straighten my hair.

I know to most people this might seem ridiculous, but if you’re a curly girl who struggles, you get it. I never feel quite comfortable with curly hair, like I’m not ready, and going out to start my day half finished. I don’t feel sleek and put together until my hair is sleep and put together. For me, that means straight.

So what better way than to throw myself totally out of my comfort zone than to let it go wild for 30 days. This is especially nerve wracking for me this month because of how short it is.

It’s been 8 days, and I’m not going to lie, last Saturday my husband looked at me and said “Please straighten your hair, your curls make you sad and angry.” I believe at this point I was near tears talking about how I felt like a curly potato with legs. Don’t ask me to explain this, just go with it. So I straightened it, and it’s been straight for the past few days.

I washed it yesterday, then let it air dry with absolutely no product, and wore a hat for a few hours. The outcome was actually not terrible (please see above) and although I felt a little nuts, I def just went with it this morning again and didn’t touch it.

Today while showering I thought “I really said I’d try this, so try it.” I’m typing this once again, with curls.

Hi there! It’s sure been awhile! I was so busy not eating sugar and working in the yard that I didn’t even glance at this blog for 2 months. Which isn’t really the point of this blog, so I’m back, and ready to rock.

March was no sugar, which went phenomenally well! I felt great, ate great, and was pretty much changing my life. Then April started, and I had a soda. Then some cookies. And before I knew it, my March progress was a distant memory. However, there is silver lining to this. At the grocery store I’m still checking sugar content, and choosing lower and healthier options. I’m limiting soda, and eating LESS cookies. So while I’m still indulging, I’m slowly but surely leaning towards making permanent changes to how I’m eating. My favorite March moment was finding a sugar free, edible cookie dough recipe, that I’m still making in May. Yes, I haven’t even had the real thing in two months because I like this one so much! March is a total WIN for this year.

April was my favorite month to date. My April goal was simply to get out into the yard, and get out into the yard I did. I ended up finishing the landscaping, planting, and mulching of our entire front yard, move a fire pit, get a tree cut down, and start on the backyard. I’ve found a newfound love of working in the yard, and am still continuing on even after April. I think the most important thing I learned in April was that it doesn’t matter if you’re unsure of what you’re doing, just get out there and start.

Full disclosure…

I cried yesterday. Why? maybe the total shock my body is experiencing? Or my weak constitution? Maybe both. I sat in the car and cried as I told my husband I felt like all I’d been eating during the beginning of this challenge was “sad food”.

I’ve been eating the past 5 days, but I’m not satisfied. I’m eating healthy, filling foods, but I’m left feeling empty, and like I still want more. I want cookies, soda, cupcakes. Fun foods. I want to eat them until I’m uncomfortably full. This is clearly a problem, and I know it’s the sugar speaking.

I’m aware this is part of the process, but it’s still shocking. How long have I just been pumping my body full of junk? Apparently long enough that I no longer know what it feels like to be comfortably satisfied, and not running on a pure sugar high.

The no sugar is not the hardest part of this. The hardest part, 6 days in, is retraining my brain, and teaching myself what really is full. To learn to enjoy FOOD, and not chemicals.

I’m writing this over breakfast. Avocado toast, egg muffins, and a giant glass of water. I’m quite full.

Progress?

Today is Day 3 of no sugar. I’m here writing this, so clearly I’m surviving!

Here’s the recap so far….

March 1. We had just gotten back from an out of town trip, and didn’t have much in the way of groceries, which I learned was a huge mistake when trying to eat sugar free. My lunch consisted of rolled up turkey, hard boiled eggs, and some nuts. I was pretty satisfied, until my boss ordered pizza. Did you know pizza sauce has sugar?? I sure do now…

I feel I should clarify here that during this challenge I AM allowing fruit, and I am eating bread with less than 1g of sugar. The point of this month is to stop with the cookies, the soda, and the general crap I’m putting into my body.

March 2. Lunch consisted of the same as day 1, because we hadn’t done the grocery yet. At this point I had consumed roughly my body weight in water. A coworker had a box of doughnuts delivered, and just looking at them made me want to cry. Headache also kicked in. When I got home I glanced in the mirror and looked like I hadn’t slept since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split up. I’ve not felt that exhausted in a long time. I knew this was a side effect, but still wasn’t quite prepared. We had dinner plans last night, and with a full menu I was left with roughly 2 options for dinner that didn’t include sugar. I’m glad dinner gave me a 2nd wind, because then we went grocery shopping.

Side note: As someone who hates grocery shopping and being out in the general public, Saturday night is the absolute best time to grocery shop. We try to do this around 9 pm on Saturdays. While you’re probably thinking to yourself “What a loser!” I assure you, that I have a very active social life, and friends! Moving on…

The grocery store took us roughly 30 minutes longer than usual yesterday, as it was the first time shopping as sugar free as possible. We also spent way too much time looking up how much sugar was in random things we weren’t even buying. If you’re wondering, there’s a LOT.

March 3. I slept 11 hours last night guys… That is insane for me! I usually sleep from 11 to 6:45. I must have needed it, because even though I woke up with a headache again, I feel strangely refreshed. I’m hoping the headache goes away in the next week, but I was ready for it. I got a book in preparation for this challenge, The 21 Day Sugar Detox, and as I write this am enjoying a banana nut smoothie from the book. A+ so far!

Stay Tuned!

I knew going into this monthly challenge that not every month was going to be a winner. The second month of the year turned out to be one of those months.

The challenge was to work out every single day. It went really well… for roughly 5 days. Then a sinus headache snuck up on me, and I thought that in the middle of a downward dog that my eyeballs were going to explode out of my head. Then I hurt my knee. Then I pinched a nerve in my back. Aaaand there went all the plans I had to be a gym rat. On a positive note all this random body aching did prompt me to make an appointment with my doctor. I’m not even old enough to feel like I’m falling apart!

In all fairness, I did make a real effort to at least be MORE active, even though I wasn’t “hitting the gym”. I parked really far away when I went to the store, went on long strolls, and this past weekend in Vegas I believe I logged almost 40 miles in 3 days.

On to March we go…

This morning I walked into the gym and was immediately faced with three 20something year olds. They had on crop tops, and were glistening during their workouts. I quickly headed into the locker room, where I ran into a bevy of 40something year old moms gearing up for their morning class, all tanned and toned. And then there was me.

I feel like when you’re not at a good place in your life, walking into a gym can be a most humiliating and difficult thing to do. This morning I really wanted to walk back out, get into my car, and give up for the day.

But that’s not what this month is about. This month is about giving my best effort, and doing the thing. Not doing the work is worse than feeling uncomfortable at the gym. A time to push out of comfort zones, and do something good for myself. I’m so tired of feeling tired, and I’m determined to do something about it.

This morning I decided to just turn my music up a little louder, pull my hat down a little lower, and just do the thing. And I did…

My biggest hurdle going into February was just how to make it work for me. Getting myself back on a workout schedule was one thing, but doing it EVERY DAY was quite another. On days that I work, I’m behind the chair for 10 hours. If I were to go to the gym on those days, to give myself the time I want to start my day I’d have to get up at 5. And quite frankly, no thanks.

On days I’m off work, I joined a gym that’s 5 minutes from our house. They have classes which I’m way too out of shape for (trust me on this), an elliptical that I hate, and 700 weight machines. My previous weight loss journey started with an elliptical and some weights, so I’m going to start there again. It worked before, and it’ll work again.

On work days, I’ve made my own gym in the basement. There’s weights, resistance bands, a mat, and a big bouncy ball. I know there’s a technical name for this ball, but I can’t remember it, so I’m just going to roll with big and bouncy. There’s a stand where I set my iPad up to play whatever video I chose, and off I go.

Speaking of videos, there’s roughly 3 billion workout videos on YouTube. I’m really narrowing it it down, and there’s something for everyone. Yesterday I searched “30 minute barre workout” and today “30 minute arms and abs” and found exactly what I wanted. If you’re thinking of going this route, I highly recommend.

It’s day 2. Things hurt.

For some reason I thought I’d be a good idea for me to attempt to go to the gym every day for the month of Feb. Yea, you read that right. Every. Day. For reference, the last time I had an actual gym routine we had a president who wasn’t a lunatic, and Miley Cyrus was still mildly relevant.

Flashback to 2013. I started going to the gym regularly because there was a guy there I liked. This guy is now my husband, which worked out well because not only did I I get that nailed down, but I also lost weight and got into the best shape I’d ever been in. I’m not even going to be modest here. I lost roughly 60 lbs, and had arms that I’d only ever seen on TV. I had muscles in my thighs I didn’t know existed, and could fit into a size 6 pants comfortably with some wiggle room. I was in shape, and felt great. A year later I added a barre studio into the mix, threw in some hot yoga, and I was in heaven.

Then we moved. And I got a new job. And we got married. And THEN I quit smoking. You can see where this is going. It’s doing downhill very, very quickly.

Here we are in 2019. I’ve gained roughly 40 lbs back. When I quit smoking last year I thought I’d go easy on myself and allow some snacking. That quickly got out of hand, and now I’m your resident cookie queen. I feel out of breath walking up stairs, I’m bloated, and my arms do this weird jiggly thing when I’m blowdrying clients. Nobody should have to look at that.

The point of this post is not to fat shame, or skinny shame, or any shaming of any kind. I’m keeping it pretty real, and admitting that I feel like crap most days. I feel unhealthy, and like I’m lugging around extra body weigh roughly the size of a small child. I’m tired guys.

I’ve decided it’s time to take back control, and the best way I can think to do it is by kicking my own ass for 28 days. Get back into a routine I used to love so much, and start feeling like myself again. I rejoined the gym, and have been going here and there in January, to prepare for 5 a.m. wake up calls and sweat sessions in Feb.

February, I’m coming for ya.

See that face up there? That’s the face of someone who accidentally got a little tipsy at the work holiday party. It’s also a really great advertisement for Rhinegeist Brewery, because that ish is DELICIOUS!

I digress. After a few too many cans of these, some moron got home and got not only on Instagram, but Facebook too. This moron was me. I learned two things from this…

1. I logged on to my work Instagram, and posted two pictures of clients I’d done in January. I didn’t scroll or really look at anything. So in essence I’m such a nerd and love my job so much that when I had a lapse in my challenge, it was work related. I think I’m ok with it.
2. Facebook is still stressing me the F out. As soon as I peeked, I realized that I haven’t really missed it, but at the same time felt the need to catch up on 26 days worth of stuff. I could feel myself growing anxious. This might have also been the alcohol. We’ll never know.

So, I messed up. I’m since back on track, and going to finish the month strong. I used to not even be able to go an entire day without social media, and I’m really proud of myself.  It’s not something I’d ever think I’d want to not participate in so much, but I really think after this month, while I’ll be back to posting and sharing, my interaction and scrolling overall will be much less. I’d call January a success.

PS. When I checked my email the morning after our party I was informed that a pair of glittery loafers would soon be arriving at my doorstep. I’m happy to report I have fun taste in shoes no matter if I’ve been drinking or not. Cheers!